Two friends, Asher and Jared, are driving around their Texas town, trying to figure out what to do. Both of them are on Winter Break from college. Asher is 19; Jared is 18. They've been best friends for 4 years.
Asher: I think I like her.
Jared: [waits a couple seconds] What?
Asher: I said I think I like her
Jared: Yeah, I heard what you said. I'm not a mind reader though. Who are you talking about?
Asher: Who do you think?
Jared: My only guess would be Rhea.
Asher: So why did you make me spell it out for you?
Jared: Well I'm not just gonna assume. You know what happens when you assume...
Both: Bad things...
Jared: So you like her?
Asher: Maybe
Jared: What do you like about her?
Asher: I dunno. We just get along so well. Like...we really click ya know?
Jared: Yeah, I've seen that. Y'all seem to get along pretty well. She's pretty too.
Asher: [smiles] Yeah. She is, isn't she? [laughs] I still can't believe how we met.
Jared: [pauses] You gonna make me ask about this too? Or will you actually fill me in, like a normal
person would?
Asher: Whatever. She facebook stalked me.
Jared: [pauses again, getting irritated] If you keep doing this, I'm just going to start ignoring you. I don't care how interesting you think it is. You're almost a grown man Asher. You can have conversations without someone guiding you through it.
Asher: [gives him the evil eye, joking] I wrote a note on facebook, and somehow she saw it from your profile page, and she read it. Then she decided to message me about it. And get this. She said she just had a bunch of free time. That's why she read it. She totally thinks I'm hot.
Jared: Oh is that so? She got it from my page? So how do you know she wasn't facebook stalking me huh? Eh? [grins]
Asher: I'm going to just act like you didn't say that. Just because you could give Lucifer, pre-fall of course, a run for his money in the looks department, doesn't mean someone can't think I'm better looking than you.
Jared: Woah now. I'm just messing with you. [looks at Asher] You really do like her, huh?
Asher: Yeah. I really do.
Jared: So what do you wanna do?
Asher: Marry her.
Jared: Alright. When?
Asher: Psh, how am I supposed to know?
Jared: [laughs] Well you are the one who said you wanted to marry her.
Asher: Only because I've been praying for my wife for like a year now.
Jared: You're not even ready to be married yet though.
Asher: Nope. But I will be, when I'm supposed to get married. At least I hope so. Maybe I'm not ready to be dating yet. Or maybe I'll never get married. I want a family so bad, but if it's not meant to be. Well...
Jared: Don't worry about not having a family. Asher, you're awesome with kids. There's just no way you're not going to be a dad some day. With a beautiful wife. I just don't know when I'm going to start dating again. I guess I just see it differently than you.
Asher: [smiles] Thanks man. That means a lot. And yeah, I know. You just don't wanna date until you know you can already support your family, right?
Jared: Yup. It kinda sucks.
Asher: You could always change the way you see it.
Jared: Maybe. It just feels right for me. I don't feel ready to date yet.
Asher: Fair enough. This is boring. There's nothing around here. Why don't we just go back to your house and play Call of Duty or something?
Jared: Alright that's cool.
Asher: You know I'm going to win right?
Jared: Whatever man, you don't even have a 360.
Asher: So what? I have faith.
Jared: I have faith in you too man.
Okay this is super cute. It's a nice change to hear guys talking excitedly about marriage. It's so funny that Asher wants to get married so badly and Jared seems to be the more mature one. ha I would have liked a longer scene just to get more on Rhea, but I got a nice feel for the boys. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ali about wanting to know more about Rhea. But you did a good job with the guys. I liked how they had this deep, intense conversation, and then they ended it by deciding to play video games. I thought that was a crystalizing moment for the characterization of both characters. Well done!
ReplyDeleteAJ,
ReplyDeleteI want to know more about Rhea too! I agree with Ali that I love hearing guys talk about marriage and obsessing over girls (because I know it is not just us girls that do it). I like Jared's character because I think he helped balance out Asher's character and his infatuation with Rhea. You did a really great job with this story! I enjoyed reading it.
SMW
I am jumping on the band wagon for wanting to know more about Rhea. I really liked how laid back this story felt, you could really tell the guys had a great relationship and had been friends for awhile. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteThis is cute! I would like to know a little more about Rhea, but I love the real life conversation. It's just a casual thing but still interesting and funny. Great job.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the girls, refreshing to hear about boys talking about girls, dating, and marriage. The characterization was so believable because its so "guy" to talk about one thing deep and then resort back to video games.
ReplyDeleteLike everyone else has commented I am a major fan of the conversation that you had betweeen the guys. It was a risk to talk about that and make it believable but you handled it very well. I think my favorite line is when Jared tells Asher he is almost a grown man but has to be guided through a conversation. I agree with everyone I want more on Rhea, I wanted to know what made her so special. I wanted to know what game they were playing. and I thought that maybe there game conversation might interupt every once in a while. I don't know though. Good Job!!!!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this dialogue! I thought the jump from Facebook stalking to marriage seemed a little unrealistic, but with the conventions and relationship you established it worked. I know everyone else has said it already, but I love the ending. It's such a believable "guy" ending. It keeps it lighthearted, even after such a weighty discussion about marriage and makes sure to remind the reader that these are still kids, barely into adulthood, not ready for marriage, but beginning to think about it and plan ahead. It was great!
ReplyDeleteCAT